Remembering Grandpa Andrus

January 16th was rather unforgettable. Jon and I were sitting in bed. We were just discussing our next temple trip and were a little frustrated about some of the details of how we were going to work that out. Finding a time that worked with our sitters was part of our discussion. As we were going to bed Jon felt prompted to check KSL. The first article that appeared was one about an elderly man who had been hit by a car while walking along Main Street in Spanish Fork. Jon didn't want to upset me (after our little argument) and though he was immediately worried about Grandpa he took a minute before mentioning the article. I texted Jarom, "Have you seen Grandpa today? We just read about an elderly man who was hit by a car near you guys  in Spanish Fork. They haven't identified the body yet." Looking back at that I'm sure it came across horribly. Jar went right to work trying to find Grandpa and realized pretty quickly that he wasn't home. He got to the hospital just about the same time Aunt Cali did. A police officer showed up at her house late that night. She thought he might be coming to tell her that something had happened to Uncle Steve. He wasn't at home at the time. The officer told her that he thought it was her dad at the hospital. Grandpa had no identification on him and it was his pace maker that finally revealed who he was. Brittany called me and told me it was indeed Grandpa who had been hit. It was shocking and devastating to hear that, though not entirely surprising. Grandpa was always out walking. But things didn't look good. Jar gave me an update later about his broken ribs and shoulder (injuries he's sustained during CPR) and the texts went out quickly to all the siblings to pray for Grandpa initially, and then just to update everyone on his status. They wouldn't perform surgery on him. Ultimately it would do him no good. We knew Grandpa was ready to move on, but that didn't make things any less painful. Mom and Dad didn't answer their phones despite several of us calling (Sarah, Jess, Amber and Jon and I) and Amber finally sent Elder Groberg a text to go knock on their door. That was the same time that Dad woke up to check Mom's phone and about the same time that Isaac and Amber showed up at their house. I drove as fast as I could from Layton and carpooled with Isaac and Amber down to Provo. Nate walked over to the hospital and was with Jarom and Aunt Cali until Mom, Dad and Isaac, and Amber and I arrived. It was so good to be texting with the sisters in Grandpa's final moments. We all love him so much! I have so many great memories of him and Grandma and I wrote several of them down shortly after Grandpa died. It's hard to capture what he means to me in just a few words, but this is what I've come up with.

When I was living with Grandma and Grandpa while teaching 2^nd grade at Canyon Elementary school I loved going on walks with them. Sometimes I’d run while they walked. They’d point out their favorite trees; Charlie, Barney and Gnarly. They loved being outdoors and knew so many people. I loved Grandma’s and Grandpa’s house. Especially their front room, with the red carpet and beautiful piano. Lizzie and I got to go to a sleepover with Grandma and Grandpa when we were little. We looked at the picture of the family hanging on the Wall in their front room and memorized it “Grandma, Grandpa, Mom, Ruth, Cali, Fatchie, Crista, Mary Anne” and Grandpa and Grandma would time us to see how fast we could say their names.  Grandma made us her delicious boy cookies too. I remember going over there with Shelley and Laura (my two best friends from high school) and Grandpa was amazed at how tall they were. They were 5’11” and 6’ tall. We drove around Spanish Fork and played in their awesome back yard. The swings were the best.  I loved the outhouse. Sleigh rides were my favorite in the winter.

Before I left for school in the mornings, Grandma would make me a nice breakfast (I especially loved the bacon and eggs on toast. Must have been made with extra love because it tasted so so good!!)  and I’d join her and Grandpa and tell them stories about my students. I’d often eat dinner with them too. Each night Grandma would tell me the story of how they met, and at first Grandpa would remind her that I’d already heard it. But as time went on he stopped. I like to think that he could tell that it didn’t matter to me how many times I heard her tell their love story. I loved it. Grandpa would joke about how Grandma wouldn’t ever let him air the bed out. She’d insist that he make it each morning. Not long before Grandma passed away they got a washer and dryer in their basement. Up until then they’d been taking their laundry to the laundromat. And Grandma would scrub the kitchen floor on her hands and knees each week. They were both such hard workers. One night I came home and started going inside when I heard Grandma and Grandpa kissing. I was so embarrassed and felt like a little kid who’d stayed out too late. I froze on the porch and stayed there until Grandpa welcomed me home and made sure I was safe inside. I was living there when Sarah got in her car accident. I told Grandpa about it and he said, “you tell that young lady to get right back on that horse.” I loved that about him. No fear. Move on. Don’t let anything hold you back.

I’d only been driving my car for about a year when I was living in their basement. One evening I was pulled over while driving home to Grandma and Grandpa’s. I’d been driving cautiously and couldn’t imagine what I’d done to attract this kind of attention. When the lady officer asked me why I thought she’d pulled me over I asked if it was because I had a burned out tail light?? I had no idea. She then let me know that my plates had expired and gave me a fix it ticket. When I let Grandpa know he was so sorry that he hadn’t noticed that my plates had expired and that if he’d seen that they had he could have helped me avoid that embarrassing/uncomfortable situation. It wasn’t his fault!! I was new to owning and a car and simply didn’t realize that I was neglecting to do something very important. Grandpa told me right where to go and everything was fine in the end. Another time I locked my keys in my car after teaching school in the Macy’s parking lot and called Isaac to let him know and see if he’d be willing to drive from Provo and bring me my spare set. I think I called Grandpa too just to let him know what was going on. He came right over with a police officer (one of his friends, no doubt) and they took care of everything in just a few minutes. I let Isaac know he no longer needed to rescue me and Grandpa was my hero once again.

When I went on dates Grandma was always so excited for me and told me that I ought to find a boy who would give me one of these (as she’d point to her wedding ring). When I got engaged she and Grandpa were so happy for me. Grandma liked Jon’s last name and said that she used to be a Frazier (Facer) too. I made some peanut butter cups to take to Grandma and Grandpa when I introduced them to Jon and during that visit Grandma was hilarious and just so cute! She kept saying how excited she was about the treats and that “they’re all mine” and she wasn’t going to share them with anyone. She was so sweet and grateful and always made me feel so good. I loved her laugh! We were sitting in the basement next to the fire and the chocolate on top of the peanut butter cups actually started to melt. I know Grandpa didn’t mind the cold but he wanted to make sure that Grandma was plenty warm and comfortable. I’m pretty sure I was sweating, but I loved how he took care of her.

I loved that Grandma and Grandpa and I were all teachers. I loved that Grandpa and I both served in the Philippines, specifically on the island Leyte; he as a WWII soldier and I as a missionary. I loved all his stories. He’d often tell me about our ancestors. I remember thinking how great it will be to meet Uncle Les and Uncle Len one day. He loved people and it was very apparent in the way he’d take care of them. Driving Reid Christmas up the canyon when he was mostly bed ridden at the end. Visiting the widows and anyone who stood in need. He was an incredible example of service and love. I remember lots of the things he said, but more importantly I remember how he made me feel. Like I was important. That I mattered. That I could make a difference.

Family parties at Grandma’s and Grandpa’s were the best. He’d grow his beard out and when he shaved again Grandma would brag about “her new boyfriend.”  The year Grandpa brought Sabby inside was especially fun and memorable. I loved their boy cookies and girl cookies and special drinks (OJ and root beer) they used to make. They’d have KFC, pizza hut (or two jacks pizza or Papa Murpheys- I always think of Grandpa when I think of the Cowboy pizza) or 6’ long subway sandwiches. And ice cream cones. Always ice cream cones. Somehow knowing that Grandpa had dished them up made them taste better. Oh, and the homemade bread. Pepperoni bread, sour dough bread. In addition to a treat at Halloween Grandpa would pass out apples. “They’re much better for you, you know.”

He loved his animals. Mac and Ted, the oxen (Charlie and Barney), Skip, Sabby. And Rosie. I loved the story of Grandpa bringing her home from the Philippines. And how when he proposed to Grandma he told her that if she didn’t take his ring he was going to give it to Rosie.

Some of the things Grandpa said that I love include: “good for us chickens” in response to how he was doing, “so good it’s scary”, him describing things as “cockeyed…(insert object)..” “those’ll keep the flies away” in reference to the wall with all the grandkids pictures on them. And when things were difficult or sad, “it’s all part of the program.” “Spanish Fark.” “If you’re not ten minutes early, you’re late.” “If you’re going to do it, do it right, do it now, and get it done.”

He loved seeing people’s reactions. I remember him showing off the money toilet seat and the barbed wire seat. I didn’t know what to make of them! And he was seriously the best story teller. He loved to laugh and joke, but cared deeply about people. He kept track of and knew how many of his buddies from the war were left. Or from high school. He encouraged us to keep in touch with friends. I think of love, concern and service when I think of Grandpa.

He didn’t talk about the war too much, but when he put together his museum in the basement we got to see the Japanese flag, the dental kit, the rifle he brought back and many other things. He loved Spanish Fork and talked about Strawberry Reservoir a lot. He loved taking people down Fifth Water and would often end up grilling burgers (church owned meat) and hot dogs afterward. Those hikes really were beautiful and I know he loved Spanish Fork more than anywhere else on earth. I love that he rode a horse on his 95^th birthday. The stories of him pushing cattle at age five and driving a car at age eight are legend. But also not super surprising as it’s Grandpa and he’s tough as nails. I loved how he continued going over to the Church Farm long past retirement and worked with Jesus.

I loved that they were both walking right up until the end. And that Grandpa could do 35 pushups up until they day he died. No wonder the doctors and nurses originally thought he was more than two decades younger than he actually was. His muscles threw them off, but the bone x-rays couldn’t lie. I’m so grateful that Jon saw the KSL article and thought to say something so I could check in with Jair and he could check on Grandpa. As much as it was awful to realize it was him it was so nice to be able to say goodbye. I felt like Grandpa was hanging around so we could say goodbye (not for his sake, but for ours) and laughing while we were all gathered (Mom and Dad, Aunt Cali, Isaac and Amber, Jarom, Nate and I) telling stories, joking around (thanks to Jarom. I think Grandpa would have encouraged the jokes) and sobbing uncontrollably as the pain of parting hit us. We got to sing Who’s on the Lord’s Side Who? Amber asked if Grandpa had a favorite hymn and Aunt Cali remembered that it was one of his favorites and he wanted it sung at his funeral. And he didn’t have long to wait once the accident happened before he was on his way home. I've really been blessed with incredible grandparents. It's been so hard to say goodbye to Grandpa who has been in such good health and I think we all took it for granted that he would live forever. I had the privilege of speaking at his funeral, which was held on January 23rd. Having the honor guard salute Grandpa and play Taps for him was beautiful. He left his mark in this world and was so good to everyone he met. So the opportunity to speak at his funeral absolutely overwhelmed me (how could I possibly say what this incredible man meant to me??!) but was also one that I will be forever grateful for.

And this is what I said:

I have so many wonderful memories of Grandpa. I loved that when he’d hear about the exciting things that were happening in our lives and note how smart or talented we were he’d always point out that it was because we took after our grandmother on our mother’s side. Recently as he, Nate and I were sitting around his kitchen table (with my girls running in and out) listening to his stories I remember thinking how grateful I was that he was still around and yet fully aware that he didn’t know why and that he was ready and eager to move on. He missed Grandma so much. He wanted to join her and had been ready to do so for a while. And yet he never gave up or slowed down as the years after her passing went on. Grandpa was a hard worker and a doer. And he enjoyed life. His jokes and stories testified of that. He may not have known why he was still around, but I do. It was because we (and so many others) needed him. Grandpa was funny and fearless, he loved animals, told the best stories, was so generous and what I’ll remember most is his kindness and compassion.   Here are a few memories of him from his grandkids.

Jon wrote: I remember one time Grandpa dropped the waist of his pants to low ride, saying, "Hey everyone, look at me: I'm a teenager!" Another time Grandpa took Banda (if I remember right) and me out to eat. There was an old-timey barber's chair in the lobby of the restaurant. When they walked in and saw it, Banda and Grandpa looked at each other, then darted for the chair. Banda got there first, but Grandpa shoved him out of the way to take a seat, grinning enormously.   –Jon Blackhurst

From Cori: I loved the impish look on his face when he showed off the penny toilet seat. His "wall of shame" with all the grandkid's graduation pictures. When he said "very gooder". Eating bread from his bread maker that always had a special surprise (a single Marichino cherry, maybe a chunk of pepperoni). When he was describing someone/something he thought was foolish and a bit funny he would say "I don't know" with a grin while rubbing his head.  Once, when I lived in the little White House with my brothers we filled my crappy Toyota Corolla top to bottom with inflatable furniture before squeezing in ourselves to go to Payson lakes. He watched the shenanigans from the driveway with his arms folded and a smile on his face.

Mike remembered that at family parties he would shave his beard and Grandma would brag about her 'new boyfriend' –Mike Hillier

Michelle wrote: Grandpa never really spoke of the war with me, except to talk about the men he served with, like Peaches, or Rosie his beloved monkey. However, about a year ago, he was at my parents’ house, and we were having a casual chat. I don’t know what prompted him to discuss the war with me, but he told me about his first experience on a ship in battle. He said that the bombs were dropping, and the men were scared, some so much so that they were shaking and crying with fear. He told me that he stood on the deck, watching everything unfold, hearing the boom of the bombs and the sounds of guns firing. He said that it was strange because in that moment, he felt no fear at all. At first I was skeptical, and I said, “Really, Grandpa?” He assured me that he felt completely calm and safe. As time goes on, I realize more and more that it just makes sense to me that he wouldn’t have been afraid. That was Grandpa. He was happy, hopeful, cheerful, and I always remember him laughing. I don’t think I ever saw Grandpa when he didn’t have a smile on his face or something funny to tell us.    –Michelle Fish

Claire wrote about Grandpa’s Shetland pony, Sabby and how she loved following her around. She wrote, “I loved going to the farm with him. I loved Charlie and Barney the oxen and Ted and Mac his draft horses. I remember he took me to a neighboring farm and I got to hold a newborn baby piglet. He cuddled up in my arms and went to sleep. I loved listening to him tell his war stories, my favorite though was about Rosie! – Claire Walker

Todd referred to Grandpa as “The Smiling Storyteller”

My favorite memory of Grandpa is his smile. In my mind, Grandpa is one of the best storytellers that I know. Sitting on the floor, staring up at his face, the stories washed over me. Sometimes I wasn’t able to completely follow, but I knew to watch his face. You could tell that he had spun this yarn countless times, but his face would betray what was to come. A sly smile would creep over his face and you knew the punchline was coming. I will always cherish his storytelling smile. 

Leah shared this: When we told family we were moving back to Utah, Grandpa immediately told Cali that we could have a family plot at the cemetery for our son, Caleb. I remember meeting him at the cemetery to choose the plot and the sexton mentioned that it would be best to have a plot for Zeb and me so that we can be buried with Caleb one day. The sexton said to get it done as soon as possible. Grandpa didn't hesitate. In fact we went to the city offices that day and had the plots switched to our names. His generosity and kindness have left an impact on me. He was so ready and willing to give, and I will always remember that. Having Caleb buried near Grandma and soon Grandpa, brings peace to our hearts. We love him so much and are so grateful for his example.  -Leah Fish

I don’t know exactly how many of us were blessed to either live next door to Grandpa in the White House or in his basement at some point in our lives, but I believe many of us did. And I think we can all agree that he was the best landlord there is.

When I got home from my mission it was just in time for Lizzie and Micah’s wedding. I was so happy for her and yet so sad to be losing her at the same time. I remember being in the sealing room with everyone at the end of the wedding and couldn‘t hold back my tears. Grandpa saw that I was struggling, put his arm around me and teared up with me. He understood exactly how I was feeling and it meant so much to me to know that he cared and wanted to be of comfort. Four and a half years later he was comforting me again when Grandma was in the hospital after falling and breaking her hip. My heart was breaking for him knowing that Grandma didn’t have much more time and yet once again there he was, comforting me, telling me “it’s all part of the program” as he tried to get her to keep her oxygen mask on. Less than two weeks after Grandma passed away Grandpa was at my wedding. He understandably could have been absent (in fact some would say he had every reason not to come) and yet there he was, happy for me and as positive and upbeat as always. Later on when Jon and I opened his gift and read his card I burst into tears when I saw that he’d written it to “Scott and Marie” from both Grandma and Grandpa. It was so like Grandpa to use our middle names and for some reason his love for Grandma hit me so hard then.

His passing was so sudden but Abby shared a response to the KSL article on Grandpa’s accident that’s brought me a lot of peace. It said:

“Ralph Andrus was a remarkable man in so many ways- including that he was bright, articulate, and physically very capable, even at age 95. He walked, climbed stairs, rode horses, visited old sick people years younger than him, and served others. He survived WWII. He taught school. He raised a magnificent family. We are so sad to see it all end like this. But, I believe if Ralph could speak to the young driver he would say, ‘now don’t you worry for a minute about this. I got myself in the wrong place at the wrong time. I guess it was my time.’ Ralph was a very special man who will be sorely missed by family members and many others of us who consider him a friend. But, I think Ralph himself is celebrating his reunion with his wife. He really was ready for this.”      -Salesman12

When I think of Grandpa I have so many memories that make me laugh, but most of all I think of him as the kindest man with the biggest heart who did for me what he did for everyone. He loved and served and was concerned for all of us and I’m so grateful to call him Grandpa.

And I'm so grateful that my girls got to know him!

Sophie told me, "I like that Grandpa Andrus scoops little kids ice cream cones."  

Lydia said, "I liked riding in Grandpa Andrus’ sled. We took a picture with him in it and then Dad pulled us around." 

Grandpa was so incredibly generous. He'd been sending us (and by us I mean all of his posterity) money for Christmas the past few years. This year I decided to buy new running shoes with the money he gave me. I was long overdue, but thought this would be the beginning of my tribute to honor Grandpa. He really valued health and fitness and was a great example to all of us of taking care of himself right up until the end. His daily three mile walks and 35 push ups a day attest to that. In December I signed up to run my first marathon, which will be on May 20th. It's the Ogden Marathon and just happens to be two days after Grandpa's 96th birthday. I'm going to run it for him. Training has been a really special time for me as I've thought about him and Grandma and the influence they've had on my life. I miss them! But I look forward to this race and know that I can do hard things. I'm Grandpa's granddaughter for heaven's sake!