The Storks

The girls have been talking about another sibling for quite some time now. SO on Wednesday August 9th they wrote letters to the storks asking for babies!!! They were pretty direct:

 Sophie even included a plan for them, in case they weren't sure how to go about it. ;)

And then on August 12th a letter arrived in the mail to Lydia, Sophie and Mia. From Stork Mountain.

I love so many things about this video!! Mostly the excitement from each of them, but Sophie's little finger acknowledgment after hearing the expectations from the Storks is so perfect.

Afterward Lydia didn't want anyone sitting on my lap because it might hurt the baby. Soph drew a pic our new baby girl with a green mouth from eating a green cupcake. Lydia wrote a story that included a pic of a baby the size of a green olive. Mia already knew it was a boy. Lyds and Soph immediately started drawing pics and writing stories and boxing up toys (as requested by the Storks in their letter) Lydia told me to rest and take the day off. She handed me "Meena Otr" to read while I folded clothes. One of the many amazing books she's written and illustrated herself.

And things were really exciting for a couple of days. Lydia talked nonstop to my belly. She really wanted to make sure that the baby knew her voice so that when he/she was born he/she would know her and know her well! We told Jon's family on Sunday the 13th and planned to tell mine in Oregon a few days later. But then the 15th came. And we knew things weren't okay. And that's when my blood was drawn and we went to McKay Dee for an ultrasound. I was in there with the ultrasound tech moving things around far too long to leave with any hope that things were okay. The probe wasn't particularly pleasant, but I knew she was being thorough. And I had a really hard time reigning in my emotions while we waited for the staff at the hospital to contact my doctor so he could contact me. This nice lady found us some "contraband" soda and said she'd look into finding us a room so I could bawl in private. We never did get that private room, but once Dr. Stanley called they motioned me over to the front desk (the FRONT DESK!!) and he gave me the bad news over the phone while I was surrounded by staff and other patients. It wasn't a pleasant experience. So when I finally did talk to my doc the possibility that I had my dates wrong was brought up. But I knew that I didn't. And the news wasn't really bad if my dates were wrong. But the baby had measured 6 weeks 2 days when I knew it should have been measuring 10 weeks. It would be another few days before the results from my blood draw on the 15th (and again on the 17th) would really confirm that I was miscarrying. But confirm it did. But we already knew that. One of the most difficult moments was hearing Jon talk to his mom after we left the hospital. It was heartbreaking. He thought he'd be able to hold it together, but he couldn't. And we'd just told them our good news two days prior to this. Loss in any form is not easy to recover from. And the loss of how this baby was going to change and add to our family was (and still is) hard to deal with.

Jon broke the news to the girls. I can only imagine what that must have been like for them to try to process. But Lydia and Sophie were so sweet. As persistent as we were that things were not okay, they were holding out hope and saying that they really hoped (because that's what we all wanted) the baby was okay after all. And then once they were convinced and knew that the baby wasn't okay, they were still super positive and comforting. Telling me that things would be okay and we'd have another baby one day. And as I mentioned before, being in Oregon with family was such a blessing. I can't imagine what it would have been like to have been at home, with Jon working, trying to hold it together for the sake of the girls but failing miserably. So great to have been with family.

And once we got home from Oregon we found this:

Which reduced me to tears immediately. The Pynes, Talbots and Fraziers had written notes all over these hearts and Dad Frazier stopped by earlier that day to tape them up. What a welcome home gift! They were there for us right when we came home from Oregon and really did brighten our day. The notes were so sweet and thoughtful. I've saved them. They mean so much. It was exactly what I needed. And the girls loved all the hearts. There was a bright and girly looking lip gloss for each of them and they loved those too! We're so grateful for such loving and supportive family in both the good times and the difficult. It's been really nice to be able to talk about what happened and so sweet of family to check in on me just to see how I'm doing. I don't know that I deserve it, but I sure am grateful for each of them!